crapping stop = stop crapping?

Thursday, October 27, 2005

27th October 2.19pm

weather is cool as usual. been nice and breezy the past few days... sleep inducing really. preparations for As the only itenary on my agenda. again. freaking bored. not used to mugging so hard but compelled to do it though.

feel so detached from the rest of the world all of a sudden. going back to school for remedials alone... fellow bastards nowhere to be found. no one to crap with or crap about cos no one just bother to spend a mere minute more just to chill out. being so much concerned with results and neglecting the people around you is something i couldnt much fathom. so travelling all the way back for that 90 mins really has been a chore. not that im ungrateful. to all teachers who bothered about helping weak students like us, still a big thank you. your guidance is much appreciated.

feeling a piece of me on the inside to be so missing at the moment. sometimes you really wished you could read the minds of others. being clueless about what the other party was thinking... and then you end up guessing, speculating, hoping that it turned out to be what you wished it had been and praying it wasnt otherwise. it sux that way. the elusive truth behind that smile is what you wish to uncover, but yet again, perhaps being greeted with that smile always will suffice. so what if you know the plain truth, nothings gonna change.. for the better at least. i thought.

have always wished that the little or much that i have done will be reciprocated. then the naiveness in thinking that way became apparent to me. there was probably little to expect right from the start. and now im tired.

-Han-

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